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Talk:Line of the Night
Was the LotN for s7e2 the bit about "I am not leading a string of psychotic ducklings!" due to Ashra attaching Claire's sanity to Ethan's? Deadelfwalking 17:45, October 27, 2009 (UTC) That was proposed, but I remember that I didn't get it. I don't remember who did though. Chimegumi 17:59, October 27, 2009 (UTC) Query: Did "Just because I hear the voices in my head does not mean I'm crazy!" ever make it to official LotN status? Deadelfwalking 07:39, November 18, 2009 (UTC) Was s7e1 Kruglor's line about having boned people because he's a barbarian? Chimegumi 06:44, December 28, 2009 (UTC) I don't actually remember that one, but I'd believe it. Deadelfwalking 06:46, December 28, 2009 (UTC) Was the season finale's one the "Ladies and gentlemen, I have seized control of your bank..." one? Deadelfwalking 00:36, December 30, 2009 (UTC) I believe so. Chimegumi 03:53, December 30, 2009 (UTC) Finally remembered the line that won instead of "psychotic ducklings". I think. Chimegumi 07:18, January 4, 2010 (UTC) I would like to record for posterity the nominees for s5e2: *"That requires a feat that I do not allow: Brachiation." "Because of its break-ee-ation of the game?" -- Starring EonRPG and Karijou! Featuring horrible puns! *"That's the point of a True Resurrection. They bring you back." -- Shiolay teaching True Resurrections 101. *"Let's up the volume. Let's try -- " "LEEEEOOON! HEEEELP!" -- Claire and Ming-ui, talking about who even knows with those two. *"Please don't get the chaotic evil assassin addicted to drugs." -- Claire just saying no to drugs. *"She's got a mean left hook." -- Claire helpfully describing what happened to Andrey's hand. *"IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-D-DUEL!" -- Tildy's computer. Yes. It was pretty awesome. *"He's chaotic good, but he has levels in douchebag." -- Andrey answering Claire's question (which won line of the night). *"Roll attack. You're attacking with the ship." "Is it a finessable weapon?" -- EonRPG and Guy, on the mechanics of ramming someone with a ship. *"We are on Man Standard Time and it is Sam o'clock!" -- Ethan observing that Sam was being pretty fucking manly. In other news, Ashra 1.0 handed me all of his D&D notes and told me to do what I would with them, since I'm on vacation and he's actually working in the real world. See also: holy shit, updates to the Nautilus page forthcoming. Deadelfwalking 00:38, January 7, 2010 (UTC) On Twitter it says Kruglor said the line about "near-life experience," but I remember saying it. If we both made the same joke at the same time, *facepalm* and feel free to add credit to him accordingly. Chimegumi 15:46, January 22, 2010 (UTC) I was so tired by then that I could've been the one to say it and I would've thought it was someone else. I trust your judgement. Deadelfwalking 20:23, January 22, 2010 (UTC) Okay, it's fixing things so Fab D isn't a walking retcon time. Deadelfwalking 04:45, February 7, 2010 (UTC) Lines from 9x5.5 Ethan: We should take them out drinking. / Ashra: How is that punctuated? Ethan: Take only adventure, leave only footprints. Ashra: We mustn't discount that people have persona ideologies. People sometimes do things because they believe in them. Ethan: Rhetorically, you are all my bitches. AlanChu 15:32, March 6, 2010 (UTC) Thanks for that~ Er, there ended up being a lot, but that was very fun to write up. Sorry if you guys feel there are too many. Chimegumi 17:27, March 6, 2010 (UTC) whaaaaat I totally said that. I think I got all of the LotNs for that session off of his character sheet, actually, so I'll double check later. But I'm pretty sure I remember saying that, not meaning it to be assholish, and then everyone going "WOW WAY TO BE A DOUCHE" Deadelfwalking 12:38, September 1, 2010 (UTC) I TOOK PUNDUAL DAMAGE FROM THAT ALL THE WAY FROM HERE Deadelfwalking 14:44, November 14, 2010 (UTC) So Aether's player wanted the nominations/runners up etc. to also go up somewhere. I happen to have records of amusing lines etc. back to season seven that I could put on the talk page. Upside: Aether wanted it, there's precedent, many of them are hilarious and deserve commemoration. Downside: will swiftly make this talk page frikkin' huge. I may go ahead and do it when I get around to writing the late summaries if no one's strongly opposed; we can always take them off again. Any opinions? Chimegumi 07:54, March 9, 2011 (UTC) More is always good, though I would like to see more non-Ashra lines represented. Some light editing for quality, then apply the "Ashra overload" filter. AlanChu 13:21, March 10, 2011 (UTC) I'm putting up what I have that's still funny to me. Unfortunately I don't have nearly as much as I thought I did for Season Seven; the real records I kept started properly at Season Nine, and I'd forgotten that. So here's Season 9/10/12's nominees/lolworthy exchanges, as best I recorded them. I'll leave some that had too much DM in them to qualify for the proper award 'cause hey, they're funny. Season Nine season premiere *"I'm so old the tarrasque goes "daaaaaang" -- Kruglor, on his sudden venerable status. *"Oh my god, you pulled a Kruglor on my pants ... that doesn't sound ..." -- Fab Dick, on the fate of his handiwork in the intervening 200 years. *"The bar has a cannon?" "You wouldn't believe how many people check that before they come." -- Ashra and EonRPG, on the Lady Nocturne *"'But persisted' and 'butt-fucked your sister' sound very similar! It's not my fault!" -- Kruglor fails a listen check on Apple's poetry *"Lightning coming your way!" "What? WHY?!" "I didn't do anything, he's casting Summon Storm!" "Summon SWARM!" "oh." -- Fab Dick and Ashra, with correction from Ethan and Apple, on the scroll Apple just broke out. *"Leilah?" "Really?" "Yeah." "I'm dead." "Oh." -- EonRPG and Leilah, on posthumous initiative. *"We resurrect bros before hoes." "For certain definitions of bro." "But very definite definitions of ho." -- Leilah, EonRPG, and Ethan, on resurrection priorities between Leilah and Marcus Fairlan *"If all the mindflayers came back, people would notice." "They were tax collectors, after all." -- Ashra and EonRPG, on Ashra's people. *"Female mind flayer!" "I'm not female." "Female ... pronoun ... mind flayer." "Thank you." "Weren't you a he before?" "Let's not get into it." "Still blonde, though!" -- Dread Pirate Lucy, Ashra, and finally Ethan get meta about Ashra's pronoun and player. episode turnip *"And I have detect thoughts, that's worked on walls before." -- Ashra, on Eldergrin and her SLA. *"There's a reason this is a bad idea, and I can't think of it! This should not be a viable idea! Why is this a viable idea?!" -- Ashra, on attempting to contact her Mother via sending. *"Some caviar and toast for me ... and a turnip for my servant, please." "Is it a spell component, miss?" "No, it's for her to consume... what, what did I do wrong? Why is that a social gaffe?" "Because you only asked for one." -- Leilah, Ganth's servants, and finally the DM, on Zaphodel's dinner. *"This is like saying 'We can send Osama bin Laden over to negotiate, or a New York sewer rat. Sure, it's a rat, but a really smart one..." -- Ethan, on whether he or Snugglesworth should be the main negotiator. episode point north *"Well, they liked you on the Plane of the Tarrasques." "That's the saddest thing you've ever said to me!" -- Ashra and Ethan, on Ethan's planehopping adventures. *"This fingernail! It's from the prophecy!" "Wait, did we blow up your prophecy?" "We accidentally Leilah's entire prophecy?" -- Leilah, Ethan, and Ashra, on Leilah's prophecy and the fingernail they found. *"And I'm going to try to contact Vishnu..." "I'm right here." "Casting contact other plane to contact Vishnu..." "Why are you casting a spell on me?!" "Um, I think you mean Vecna..." -- Fab Dick, Vishnu, and finally someone (I forgot who), on Fab Dick's theological difficulties. *"Once we're done hitting on the deathlock..." -- Ashra, on everyone's favorite pastime *"Can I put some green liquid in your tank, Vecnu?" -- Fab Dick, on exactly what it sounds like. *"My brain hurts ... no! NO! I will dual wield cups!" -- Fab Dick notices how Ashra's looking at him *"So I'm under a magical compulsion to rescue him, but what do I actually think of him?" "Such a fucker." -- Zaphodel and EonRPG, on Ashra. *"And then it turned into a circle of greater teleport, and it said 'Since you know this, you will make a greater meal for the Great Mother'. And then I ... said something pretentious, and I ended up here." -- Ashra, on the trap. episode alphabet *"Listen to the doctor, not the drug dealer!" -- Ethan, on Sam's hypothermia care instructions. *"You've just got to keep your pimp hand strong." -- EonRPG, on Leilah. *"I call them 'Truth' and 'Justice'!" "I don't believe in either of those! ... wait, I do. I believe in both of those." "I do too, but only for definitions that mean I get to beat up who I want to beat up." -- EonRPG, Ethan, and Ashra, on magic missile gun fingers. *"Okay, I have an idea, and it involves you guys not wanting to stand between me and the wall of bars." -- Ethan, on dealing with a metal barrier. *"Have you noticed I turned white?" "Oh, and here I thought you were Xenteroth." -- Ashra and Vishnu, on Ashra's injuries. *"Drunken scrying! Wait, you can't get drunk and I can't scry. Scrying with a drunken companion!" -- Ashra, proposing pastimes to Ethan. *"I'm not the cleric you're looking for!" -- Leilah, to the bounty hunter. *"This guy is a frenzied berserker." "HE'S GOING DOWN!" "Gawd, I'll save the girl then!" -- EonRPG, Leilah, and Ethan, on Clint Walker. *"Crna Ruka/Fair Weather forever! ... why are we shipping ships?" -- Ashra, on naval warfare. *"You're a messiah of a complex." -- EonRPG, on Ashra. *"Well, we all know hubris is my middle name. And I don't even have a last name!" -- Ashra, on Ashra. episode warehouse *"Know how much time we spent in the Ruins of Eldergrin?" "We don't!" -- EonRPG and Ashra, on the strange sense of time in that place. *"So what did the sandstorm do to the fire? "... made it awesome?" -- Ashra and EonRPG, on the interaction of twos. *"Well, thank god for Barron Ganth." -- Ethan, on things that should not go together *"So apparently I just sold iced drinks to eskimos." -- Ethan, on his ability to sell cold drinks to Point North. *"... If Vargus is actually Grax I might have to hug him for that. Walk up to him, hug him, call him a whore, and then start rolling saves. It'd be the strangest reunion between siblings ever." -- Ashra, on Vargus's benefit concert being named Baldurbash *"It's been forever since I've had any!" "He means news." -- Ashra and EonRPG, on Ashra's desire for information. season finale (extras) *"Close air support heals all sins!" -- Leilah, on her choice of airstrikes *"Is it a free action to platonically man-kiss him?" -- Ethan, after Baudin one-shotted a dragon. *"So I'm up a Sanity Point and addicted to PCP." "For Ashra after a season finale, that's not all that bad." -- Ashra 2 and Ashra 1, on track records. season 10 first couple of episodes *"I don't suppose you eat bullets and shit boxes, do you?" -- Ashra, to Eleven, looking for a way to store the Hand of Vecna. *"Any skills?" "I have a really badass sword!" "A Warforged would consider that a skill..." -- EonRPG and Eleven, on his zanbatou. *"I'm about to pass out from awesome!" -- Eleven, on Vishnu's mech *"Okay, I will have no consensual rape." -- Cicero, on principles. *"Is it possible for me to spit-take?" "Yes, it's called backfiring." -- Eleven and Leilah, on technical capabilities. *"I don't have a mom!" "Cry me a river." "I can't cry!" "Cry me a brick." -- Eleven and Ashra, on family. *"Can we get Solid Snake up there as a window cleaner?" "As a window, maybe." -- Eleven and Ashra, on WHAT A THRILLLLL... *"They installed a stick up my ass? No wonder I can shit bricks!" -- Eleven, on his abilities. *"I've got my dwarven wench to blow on my other dice!" -- Cicero, on how much he is pimping right now. *"It's very difficult terrain. Hard to fly over." "Like, lots of random encounters?" "Random encounters WITH A MOUNTAIN." -- EonRPG, Leilah, and Ashra, on the flight hazards. *"Tanks or GTFO?" -- EonRPG, on Eleven's intimidate check on the clouds. *"WHORES! ... that counts as a devotion!" -- Ashra, on dargons. episode bisau *"Do you know how hard it is to talk to god?" "I usually hug him, pick him up and swing him around, and then we go out drinking." "Shit, you know him, it won't work." -- Claire and Ashra, on the worship of Ethan Dragonslayer. episode xoth *"Do you have any sisters?" -- Cicero, to Kruglor, deciding how to use his healing scroll *"Did you know if you kill God, the DM buys you a milkshake?" -- Claire, on the scaling candy combat system *"She's a dwarf, of course she's a gold digger!" -- Cicero, on the BGM *"'Brother!' *bzzt* 'Little brother!'" -- EonRPG's imitation of Ashra and Xoth *"Hey No-brains, where's your momma to protect you!" "Fuck you! ... same mother." -- Cicero and Ashra, on Xoth *"The weather on Mechanus is calm. With a chance of GEARS." -- Ashra, on Mechanus *"The wheel of fate is turning!" "For you, it actually might be." -- EonRPG and Leilah, on ... Ashra I think? episode xenteroth *"I'm thinking of dwarf porn! Trimming beards! Not the beards you're thinking about, though!" -- Cicero, trying to mentally troll Xenteroth *"... you just Cusack-boomed the lich." -- EonRPG, on Ashra's defensive strategy of brandishing the Dark Lantern and thinking of infinity *"You take 1d6 damage ... separation anxiety." -- EonRPG, on Ashra's teleporting away from Xenteroth's tentacle. *"Guys I just realized I have 4 HP right now..." "You are MADE of nuts. Really, he is, they're holding him together." -- Eleven and EonRPG, on Eleven's daring attack. *"The next time you perform, you will suffer terrible stage fright." "Any performance?" -- EonRPG and Leilah, on Cicero's two. *"I didn't know I was carrying around the end of the world just because I'm the Alpha and the Omega. These things take time to work out!" -- Ashra, on the Dark Lantern's capabilities. episode inquisitor saving *"Why do you like Vecna?" "The lies and deception to preserve sovereignty! *salutes Ashra*" -- Leilah and Cicero, on Cicero's sudden conversion. *"Can you roll knowledge (gaydar)?" -- Cicero, on one of those special skills. *"Did you just ask the blind seer if he lost his contacts?" -- EonRPG, to Leilah I think? *"So did you see any illithids?" "STOP SAYING WORDS" -- Ashra and Leilah, to the blind seer. *"Avimeus, we worship the same god." "Money and sex?" -- Seer and Leilah, on faith. *"His idea of 'opening doors' is slipping 10,000 Malvont Dollar bills into people's back pockets." -- Ashra, on Avimeus's lack of lockpicking capabilities. *"I trust in my god. She speaks in my head!" -- Leilah, on religion. *"Wait, the swords are sexting?" "With their wielders!" -- Ashra and EonRPG, on sentient weaponry. *"That greataxe has massive cleavage." -- EonRPG, on part of the treasure hoard. season finale *"I want a sack of angry mechanical OOZES!" -- Leilah *"You seem much less excited about learning from me." "You're a virgin! She has an excuse." -- Leilah and Aether, on Ashra. *"What other languages do you speak?" "Aquan, Abyssal, *sneeze*" "That's actually a language she took for two semesters." -- EonRPG, Leilah, and Ashra, on Leilah's education. *"In a few years, you'll learn to find your way home." -- Ashra, on Leilah's newfound inherent magnetism. *"Wait, we're financing Aether's boob job now?" -- Ashra, on party finances *"The man is a walking Groupon." -- Ashra, on Avi's finances. *"I have this femur. It's medicinal. My own bones are old." -- Kruglor makes his declarations before boarding the Sirius *"Whoops, forgot my extra slut." -- Aether, on Avi's return to grab disguised Cicero *"I'm 400 years old and what is this?" -- Leilah, pretending to be Kruglor *"Wait, since you're CFO we require disbursement forms now?" -- Ashra, on Cicero's bureaucracy. *"Your Warforged is seasick?" -- Neogi, on Eleven's ruse *"Hey Aether go sneak that shit!" -- Ashra, to Aether *"I think it's time to address the elephant in the room." "We have an elephant?" -- Leilah and Cicero, on mutiny and badass pets *"I wish I had legions in winter quarters!" -- Ashra, after the mutiny bonus episode (we didn't actually assign awards for this game I think? or at least not lotn?) *"She's a cleric of ... Tacitus!" -- Avi hurfdurfs on KReligion *"We're going to wish his +1 had been a magic item." -- Ashra, on Aether's shenanigans. season twelve season premiere *"Wait, did we just meet the lawyer at the bar?" -- Ashra, on Semna *"Do they serve appletinis here?" -- Cicero, on the bar *"Did I ... sleep with you?" -- Aether tries to remember if she knows Zack *"The name's Cicero..." "... and I'm here to fuck!" -- Cicero and Leilah, finishing Cicero's introduction. *"You have got to try his quiche, it is simply divine!" -- Cicero, on Sam's magical cooking. *"We're a weapons smuggling company. If we do anything legal, it's by accident!" -- Ashra, on Bona Fortuna's dealings. *"I'm at the end of my patience for talk about legalization!" "So this is a bad time to talk to you about Halfling Weed?" -- Leilah and Ashra, on legal battles *"You hubristic motherfucker. And I say that as someone trying to push 'Legislacerator' as a title." -- Semna, on Ashra's signature. *"What's keeping it in the city?" "The job market?" -- Cicero and Ashra, on the plague brush. *"Six seconds from now the world will look a hell of a lot less plague-brush-y!" -- Ashra Vensers himself. *"Now you're a worm to it instead of a flea." -- Ashra, on the results of Leilah's Righteous Might *"I deal 99 damage, but subdual ain't one. If you're having gank problems, I feel bad for you, son." -- EonRPG, on Cicero's mighty blow. *"I dunno, I still think Leilah sucks at croquet." -- Ashra, on Leilah's melee with the plague brush. *"The man's always trying to keep me down!" "With your scores, if you weren't a kobold, you could be ... shockingly average." -- Snugglesworth and Ashra, on non-kobold privilege. episode apocalypse *"Several longshoremen offer their services to you." "How long? Ten feet long?" -- EonRPG and Cicero, on the docks. *"Is she just Vanna White-ing the intimidate?" -- Ashra, on Aether's helping Semna scare innocents *"So the plan is to go into the building, go down the shaft, and drop into the water?""Does this mean we must go deeper?" "YES." -- Leilah and Ashra, on BWOOOOOOONG. *"Shut the fuck up and help me strip!" -- Leilah, getting her armor off before she has to swim. *"Wait, you have a Rod of Lordly Might and it tells you how deep you are? ... Okay!" -- Ashra, on Avi's epic item. *"It's in line with my cultural values!" "The worst thing is that it is." -- Ashra and EonRPG, on Ashra's murder of some innocent drow. *"Then you make a will save at an angle!" -- Ashra, on what happens if you look at the lantern in the mirror like this. *"Well, he can probably get out of his appointment due to the apocalypse." "All the trains crashed." "''Forever." -- Ashra and EonRPG, on Vishnu's obligations.'' episode thorpdorp *"Wet prophet contest?" -- Ashra, on Leilah *"HEY K-DIDDY, WANT SOME GUNS?" "Yes." -- Ashra gets Kruglor's attention. *"Hey, do I still know Ganth's prayer text number and can I text him 'Fuck you'?" -- Cicero buys the theory that Ganth caused the Awakening. *"... I suck at being evil these days. I need to go punch a puppy so I don't become Lawful Fucking Good and lose all my pride..." -- Ashra, on saving the thorp. *"Wait, we're trying to keep the tavern from being blown up? These are the end times..." -- Ashra, on tradition. *"Are you trying to Tokyo Drift the elephant?" -- Ashra, on Leilah's shenanigans. *"There are no facing rules, I could be doing this in reverse!" -- Leilah, on whether the elephant is facing the right way. *"*long* *not* *read*" -- Ashra's Dark Elf Silent retort to Leilah getting silenced by a two *"I make the elephant do a wheelie. Then I'm like, does this elephant have four wheel drive?" -- Leilah, testing out her sweet ride. *"If I carried that ...'Holy shit you're hot!' 'No guys, I'm behind here!'" -- Leilah, on the possible effects of carrying an altar-sized statue of Anahita. *"You're about this far away from TL;DR." "She's got a gauge now." "It fills up like in Guitar Hero!" -- Leilah, Ashra, and EonRPG, on Leilah's patience. episode balor (note: Semna had several awesome lines, but she won LotN for "saying everything" so they'll all be on the main page when I'm done updating.) *"We're sorry, the prince you called is being serviced." -- Ashra, about Avi's phone. *"I whip my cow back and forth, I whip my cow back and forth!" -- Ashra, on the cow caravan. *"I whip my drow back and forth, I whip my drow back and forth!" -- EonRPG, on Aether. *"I'm gonna take some time to myself!" "Yes, yes you are." -- Aether and Ashra, on Aether's timeshifting. *"Semna pledged her sorority in law school by showing up." -- Ashra, on Semna's ability to hold ten bottles per hand. *"It's high guard in BALOR school!" -- Ashra responds to Leilah's criticisms of the balor's high guard. episode water *"When we save the world, I want to open up a pub called the Leaky Barrel." "And all you serve is water?" -- Aether and EonRPG, on future plans. *"Abandoned camp train remembers you?" -- Leilah, on the camps blown over by sand. *"Fortitude save? What is this?" "It's hard drugs!" -- Kruglor and Ashra, on saracin. *"I have a +1 composite elfbane longbow!" "What, does it impress the dwarves or something?" "Yes!" -- Cicero, Ashra, and EonRPG, on Cicero's equipment. *"But you know what they say: 'Once you go djinn, you never go..." "In?" "I don't really know where I was going with that." -- EonRPG, Cicero, and Ashra, on djinns and sayings. episode caliph *"Youuuu smell like happiness!" "No, seriously, you smell like heroin." -- Semna and Leilah, on the sexy consort *"Let's make assumptions about what happened here." "Please not in public!" -- Leilah? and Ashra, on deductions *(deep breath) -- Semna, on the sexy consort *"We would like not to be shot by the guards, Your Majesty." "That can be arranged." -- Leilah and Sora, working out terms *"'Sarge! Sarge! I'm getting ... chafing!' 'Suck it up!'" -- Leilah, mocking the situation with too many guards and the entire harem in the same building. *"Are you from these parts?" "Define these parts." "~These pa-a-rts~" -- EonRPG, Leilah, and Ashra, on localization episode crazytime *"I don't count today. It's my activated ability: UU, nobody cares about Ashra today." -- Ashra, on being ignored. *"Let's barrel in!" "You're only saying that because you have a barrel." "Exactly!" -- Aether and Ashra, on tactics. *"Then we make like a cloud and leave!" "... what." -- Leilah and Ashra, on Wind Walk *"While we're waiting, I'm rolling Spellcraft to find out how magnets work." "You can't explain that!" -- Cicero and EonRPG, on science *"Good luck, son." "Fuck you, Leilah!" -- Leilah and Ashra, being themselves *"No one look into the well, especially Ashra!" "I look into the well." -- Leilah and Ashra, same deal *"I suggest you look up 'PTSD' and scroll to 'Poking with a stick.'" -- Ashra, on sanpoints episode timetravel *"We need an adamantium ice cream scoop for stone." -- Leilah, circumventing the puzzle *"... 'The Inquisitor's Box.'" "It's a strip club?" -- EonRPG and Ashra, on the contents of the Secret Study *"What we know about the stock market is everything dies!" -- Ashra, on Leilah's plans to use time travel and make money in the stock market. *"You came here on a bender?" "A time bender ... it's like a 50 dollar card by now." -- Matria and Ashra, on why the party was so out of it. *"I think I'm actually good..." "I've been trying to establish that since I met you." -- Leilah and Ashra, on alignment and/or wellness. episode void ray *"Okay, but they only come with one ball." -- Ashra, on Cicero's attempt to buy 10,000 caltrops *"Probably the highest paying job in your area --" "If you say 'stripper'...!" -- EonRPG and Aether, on job opportunities *"You must have been so cute before you could swear. 'Oh, sugar, you're so unoptimized!'" -- Ashra, on young and sheltered Leilah *"If I'm going to be flying with people, I want, like, a battle yacht." -- Avi, on airships *"Ferraris with guns!" -- Leilah, on the kind of ships she wants to loot *"Make it work." -- Avi, handing over a check for $13 million Malvont and asking for a superairship in 10 hours *"Your boss has no experience!" "Oh, I'm sure she's got plenty of ... experience." -- Dwarf and Cicero, on Aether *"I think this is the time when you flash your pecs." -- Aether, offstage, to Cicero seducing the dwarf *"Can I get a carriage with flaming white stallions?" "Of course." "They're actually on fire." -- Avi, EonRPG, and Ashra, on the royal escort *"The dwarf gave you an STD." "A will save STD?" "Chlamindia." -- Aether???, Ashra, and Avi, on Cicero's funny feeling *"I am NOT a hipster!" -- Aether, dressed as a pirate ironically *"We have violated the first rule of barfights, which is...?" "Never bring sixth level spells to a barfight?" "YES!" -- EonRPG and Ashra, on Cicero's Chain Lightning *"Chain Lightning? In a barfight?" "You're only supposed to cast Grease and Glitterdust!" "That's only for gay bar fights." -- Ashra and Leilah, on the same episode seafuckery *"I want everyone to know I am the hotter Woman of Mystery." -- Aether, on the Mountain Runner. *"The price is 975." "15,000?" "WHAT?! ... 975." "Oh. ...No idea how that happened." -- EonRPG and Cicero discuss prices. *"He can go fuck himself ... I said that politely, though." -- Aether, negotiating over her painting. *"Did you just order another round from the frozen bartender?" "No, she just wants to talk to him for six more seconds." -- EonRPG and Ashra, on Leilah's negotiations. *"Not even supercharged." "I ain't playing with no broke n**a." -- EonRPG and Cicero, on the Swiftest Thought idefk *"Hi auntie!" -- Leilah, to Anahita Nubia *"I mean, do you have a salt itch down there?" -- Leilah, same *"There's a horrible name for saps in the deep south." "Pappa's penis?" "... Somehow, that's not as bad as the real one." -- EonRPG and Leilah, on saps. *"I wanna look naked!" "But you use more stamina that way!" "Yeah, but it isn't HER stamina..." -- Aether, EonRPG, and Ashra, on glamered equipment. *"Drop it like it's hot ... and it's damn hot." -- Cicero, on dropping explosives off the ship. *"Be ready for what?!" -- Ashra, after Leilah ended the surprise encounter before it began. *"Lei? Really? Please tell me the Mother doesn't call me Ash. I couldn't live down Ash." "Gary is Grax!" --Ashra and Leilah, on family nicknames. episode worldsaving ::Note: We haven't assigned awards for this session, so for posterity's sake this will include all the lines I tweeted. Feel free to add more if you remember 'em! *The +3 Unholy Coffee of Bad Ideas (not a line, but had to go SOMEWHERE... maybe it should get a page to go with the cure spells, idk. *"The party don't start till I walk in." -- Semna *"Have you met MY tiger mom?" -- Ashra *"But that was supposed to be an empty punishment!" -- Ashra, on forbidding Cicero to lead teams the one episode where we actually make teams. *"You are surrounded by the girl party, you know that, right?" "Avi knows how to play JRPGs." -- EonRPG and Semna, on Avi's escort of Aether, Semna, and Leilah. *"Sounds like a job for SuperLawyer." -- Semna rises to the occasion. *"Wow, it's where the sun don't shine." "But still in plain sight." -- EonRPG and Leilah, on Aether's dagger hiding skills. *"I would like to see your collection of murders and executions ... mergers and acquisitions ..." -- Semna makes requests. *"Futurium mines! It's a relatively new subject." "You probably haven't heard about it." -- ? one of these was EonRPG, and it was denying a request for further info... *"No, I did coke to save this guy, he's actually our friend." -- Ashra, on Shiolay *"We are not talking about Ethan Dragonlayer." -- Semna, on ... Ethan...? *"I have read these terms and conditions, and understand them fully." -- Semna, on contracts. *"Curse you, servants of the gods!" "Sup, bro ... I am actually channeling Ethan at this point." -- Orcas and Ashra. *"It adds 2 to all inappropriate stats. Not non-essential, inappropriate." -- EonRPG, on some theoretical buff. *"Maybe I should've made a Spot check, but I was busy setting stuff on fire." -- Ashra, on priorities in battle. *"Can I siphon a spell through my rock?" "It's not a spell storing rock..." "There have been those." -- Cicero, Ashra, and Leilah, on rocks. season thirteen episode no one gets along very well *"Can I play an illiterate cleric?" "You're in COLLEGE!" -- AlanChoo and EonRPG ironing out Helga *"What's the difference between a Rhetoric (?) major and a Naval Studies major?" "The Naval Studies major might get a job someday." -- EonRPG and Grax, on career prospects. *"So at this point you're just masturbating furiously to pictures of your bank account?" -- Scarlett, on Nicolo's pastimes *"Oh, Fred, I am bored of cocaine!" -- EonRPG, also on Nicolo's pastimes *"Ceiling gnome is watching you gossip?" -- don't remember who this was but it was about Ollie McOxen the Free hiding in the bathroom episode oh fuck pyotar leave me alone already *"Next time on Dungeons and Dragons!" "AUUUUUGH!" "penis." -- EonRPG, the players, and Ollie, varying our traditional opening. *"What's the drinking age?" "Are you over seven?" "Inches, or years?" -- Grax, EonRPG, and Ollie, on legal standards. *"I have no interest in annoying an illithid who is thesising." -- Icania, on common sense. *"Good dear, you have interesting tastes." -- Fred the Manservant, in response to Nicolo's command that he tail Helga *"Interesting thing there." "They're all dead. Every... last ... one." -- EonRPG and ... someone? on room descriptions? *"What's your major?" "Naval studies." "Oh... never mind." -- Rystil Macavia and Lucky, getting out of a tight spot. *"It is better to teach a man to fish than to ... give him fish ..." "You are a RHETORIC major?!" -- Nicolo and Scarlett talk shop. *"I am SO not proficient in snake." -- Grax, in response to a plan involving Icania's familiar. *"I think a snake can cover ten feet if ... sufficiently motivated." -- Icania, also on his familiar. *"I'm not sure who played into whose hands yet. We're all in each other's hands in some creepy hippie bullshit." -- Grax, on Pyotar setting him up as he tried to set Pyotar up for setting him up. episode you're nothing but a pack of cards *"I become 33% more effective in battle!" "Repeating, of course." -- Ollie? and EonRPG, asking to be leveled. *"Hello,sir, can I help you with your clothes covered in ... quad?" -- Fred the Manservant, after Nicolo faceplanted onto the lawn. *"Is there a run equivalent for walking?" "... yes. It's running." -- Helga and EonRPG, where paranoia and odd rules discussions collide. *"That was some Socratic Method bullshit right there." "Was it?" -- EonRPG and Helga, wherein Helga is unintentionally fucking hilarious *"Giant barricaded doors with giant medusa knockers ... great, guys, great. You want to feel those medusa knockers?" -- EonRPG notices the snickering. *"Can I get a DM ruling that Icania couldn't have been friends with Ethan without being nicknamed Kanye?" -- Grax carries on a proud tradition. *"Guys guys when the school nerd shows up with an AK-47 you don't throw him into lockers guys" -- Grax, on prudence and Pyotar *"One vote per Mage Hand!" "Stop persecuting us divine casters!" -- Ollie and Helga, on party politics. *"The door is slightly ajar." "She's a transmutation professor. The door is slightly a jar." -- EonRPG and Grax, on Mystria Avo's office. *"Six-pack of love potions? You're not setting yourself up a little harem...?" "He wants six. It'll be a BIG harem." -- Raja? and Grax, on Nicolo's plans. episode massive massive damage *"I will bribe you with little wind-up things that go shiny if you bring me tools and food." -- Icania convinces Ollie to fetch things for him *"She knows where I'll be. I'm in her challenge room ... if you know what I mean." -- Nicolo, on his relationship? with Mystria Avo *"What're you reading, stranger?" -- Grax? on Pyotar fencing stolen books *"Expellipenis? Really?" -- I don't remember who this was but it's Ollie's fault *"I hate to say this, but in a contest of holding onto something with a monk..." -- Scarlett, on Eri episode seriously guys stop splitting the motherfucking party *"That's the fifth one this week!" -- the headmistress, on infinite damage loops *"I step into the room." "Roll Reflex." "The floor is lava?" -- Nicolo, EonRPG, and someone? Grax? on Nicolo's infiltration of another classroom. *"What do I look like in the mirror?" "A badass." -- first was Nicolo and I can't remember who the second one was, on the magic mirror episode vuvuzeBZZZZZZZZ *"... there IS an elven word for monogamy." -- Nicolo/Pundit23, before the game started, out of nowhere *"What kind of things that I could pass as would the lumberjacks find attractive?" "Anything with a vagina ... Or an anus." -- Scarlett and Helga, on preferences. *"Prepared action: When I get DPower, I will use it to smack all you bitches." -- Helga wants to be Leilah when she grows up *"An owlbar?" "It's like an owlbear, but regional." -- EonRPG? and Grax, on dialect *"The bad news is ... I'm the only one that's left." -- Nicolo, on the party circumstances *"We just ... suddenly stop smelling." "And you waited until now?" -- Kanye and Grax, on Pass Without Trace *"What's a blink dog?" "It's a dog that loses every staring contest." Semna? and Grax, on creatures *"May I assist in the Diplomacy check by hiding?" -- Lucky d'awwww *"I did battle with the lumberjacks and all I got was this purse. I am the one purse ent." -- EonRPG occupies Icewinton *"I like that you're so full of bullshit you don't even have to roll Bluff checks." -- EonRPG, on Nicolo *"What does that mean?" "Bad shit." "Good shit." "Neutral shit." -- I don't remember who was involved in this *"If you want a bribe, press one or stay on the line." -- EonRPG explains Goneril phone trees *"I'll try Macavia." "Okay, she is your lord and master." "Crap, never mind." -- EonRPG and Semna, about Grax. *"That is just like you walking up to a meth head and saying 'Hey man, guess who graduated?'" -- EonRPG, on telling Ethan about Kanye's journey through the NEP. *"Racial memory from the future! Illithids can have it." -- EonRPG, on Grax's nervousness around lightning. episode ghostyghostyghost *"Where do you go if you want to build yourself?" "Therapy." -- EonRPG (or was it Kanye?) and Grax, on Kanye's transformation. *"I'm going to go to the library and look up precedent for weird shit happening here." -- Semna resorts to research *"I'm trying to load my dice rolling app." "You're trying to load your dice ... rolling app?" -- EonRPG and Helga, on DM fairness. *"Of course, it would be optimal to cast off of CON." "Unh! Bend reality with my abs!" -- Helga and Grax, on casting stats *"You do take an improvised weapon penalty, because you are using a ghost as a weapon." -- EonRPG, on Kanye's shenanigans. *"I can smell bad shit from there!" "He's a kobold!" -- Semna and Scarlett, on Lucky *"Where's the Commentarii de Derpy Troops? I don't know how to handle this situation!" -- Grax is unprepared as a battle leader *"If beholders had a philosophical text, it would be Mein Kampf." "Not I Spy?" -- EonRPG and ... Lucky? on beholder philosophy. episode kaboom *"Purify Bacon and Bacon: removes everything that isn't bacon." -- Helga, on cleric spells. *"I'll climb onto the ceiling and be the disco ball." -- Kanye knows how to party *Helga's dirty joke told entirely in Dark Elf Silent *"Do you have psychic powers?" "I had psychic powers when I met you!" "Oh, I forgot." "That's one of her psychic powers!" -- Semna, Grax, and finally Kanye, on Grax's newfound? psionics. *"He's spinning the coin, okay, coin's here ... where'd he go?" -- Helga's suggestion for how Ollie could use Hide as a party trick. *"That is high enough that...." "You are now partying on another plane." -- EonRPG and Grax, on Kanye's attempt to party with a 40 KPlanes. *"So, I think you should find something to do other than try to craft a dildo on him, 'cause I really don't want to go into PVP right now." -- EonRPG, on Semna's plans for Kanye. *"Cast Fox's Cunning on the dumbwaiter, see if anyone gets the pun?" -- Grax's idea of a party trick *"He's a satellite in that he's a satellite" -- Grax, on Kanye's relationship to the Futurians *"Metallic dragons are a myth." "In just this universe?" "In our universe, too." -- EonRPG, Semna, and Grax, getting a bit meta. *"With the Alchemist's Cold in there, you are a WarFridge." -- EonRPG, on Kanye. *"What's the most powerful explosive we have?" "MY TEMPER." -- Semna and Grax, on problem solving episode arena Candidates for Line of the Night (tbd at our next game) *"Comparative psychology. You crazy. You crazier. You craziest!" -- Grax's definition of compsci. *"TL;DR -- two llamasus with damage resistance?" -- Grax remembers the monster manual *"Can you, in fact, level in Daft Punk songs?" -- Grax, on Kanye's build *"People keep throwing numbers at me..." "52! 27! Complete Divine page 137!" "... Celerity domain, right?" "... that was just a random number..." -- EonRPG, Helga, and Grax, on serendipity and non-core. *"Japanese schoolgirl bees?" "Kawaii dezzzzzzzz" -- someone? and Grax, on giant bees *"And on the door, you find a sign." "... FUCK." -- EonRPG and Semna, on blindness. *"Garl Glittergold might take a shine to me ... so to speak." -- Kanye, on polish and interplanar adventures. *"I didn't technically suffer any ill effects." "I think you're grounded, is that an ill effect?" -- Kanye and Grax, on consequences. *"Apparently I should watch out for the Nyasan inquisition." "Well, the problem is that no one expects them." -- Kanye and Grax, on old jokes. *The Freedom of Movement failed high five between Ollie and Kanye *"You'll finde de onlye --" "Greater Accent Removal!" -- Ollie and Kanye? Helga?, on narration *"You can probably mindlock the devil. Or at least flintlock it." -- EonRPG suggests ways for Grax to participate in battle *"Thanks to Freedom of Movement, Nyasan clerics can only have jello-wrestling contests in antimagic fields." -- Grax, on things he really shouldn't care about anyway. *"I'm totally Moe Hitler this season." -- Grax, on .... Grax. *"I'll give you a hint: Not having eyes kind of supersedes darkvision." -- EonRPG hands down a ruling to Semna. *"Did that just say 'he's queefing mustard'? This is why I don't listen to rap." -- Scarlett, on the BGM *"Ten apprentice shots!" "That's how Ollie starts his Friday nights." -- Ollie and Grax, on zeroth level partying. season fourteen episode misty mossy cave *"Previously on Dungeons and Dragons..." "We all buy shit and argue." -- EonRPG and Kanye vary the traditional opening. (My tweet of this line is the most popular tweet I've ever posted...) *"Now we know what Cicero will order tonight -- the most expensive drink in the bar, time liquor. We can tell because he's already drunk!" -- Leilah explains Cicero's odd behavior. *"You want to see Semna?" "Yes." "Last name?" "Ashtad." "YOUR last name?" -- Leilah and Kanye go through formalities. *"You smell like ozone with licorice and cherry filling ... that is fucking disgusting." -- Semna, on Kanye. *"So I might have helped Grax, and I need a lawyer. I kind of helped him build a golem army..." "So, is this a copyright issue?" -- Kanye and Semna, on offenses *"This is not legal advice, but ... sounds to me like you're fucked." -- Semna, on Kanye's situation *"Run around the ship twenty times, and when you're done tell me everything about what it is, how it works, and how you could improve it." -- Leilah's way of evaluating a new hire *"Any other little party tricks? Incontinent negative energy bursts?" -- Leilah, on Kanye's powers *"Well, I did see an assassin/mage running around..." "Then he's not very good." -- Kanye and Ashra, on Rostan *"... and don't make any modifications while the ship is running. Sorry, I just had to be sure." "It's okay, you don't know my record but that's consistent with it." -- Avi and Kanye, on mad engineering *"SECRET for Him, by Vecna." -- Ashra, on how Tamiko knew Cicero was a Vecnaist *"I guess I'm wearing a jockstrap. It's now canon." -- Cicero, on undergarments *"It has concealment!" -- Leilah, on Tamiko's attempt to grab the holy symbol out of Cicero's pants. *"I used to be an anti-theist like you. Then I took a lich-brain to the friends." -- Cicero, on Tamiko's iconoclasm *"How would you like to go to hell?" -- Cicero's recruitment message *"Cooking in a portable hole is terrible. You only have ten minutes of air!" "Plus, you have to use the high-altitude directions." -- EonRPG and Ashra, on possible kitchen setups. *"Bathrobe cummerbund." -- EonRPG, on Avi's clothing *"It costs EXP to get my hair this good!" "You used Permanency on it?" "That's why it's called a Perm!" -- Avi, Tamiko?? and Kanye, on Avi's hair *"So the Awakening was Orcas-trated by ..." -- Kanye?? makes an unintentional pun episode herpderp *"We will actually just set you on fire, Rostan." -- Ashra? in response to something? *"What happens if I go to Prospero?" "You, in fact, stay in Prospero." -- Kanye and EonRPG, on antimagic fields vs. magic golem *"I want to roll 'what am I wearing?'." *takes off shirt* "I rolled a one." -- Cicero, getting dressed as usual. *"Wow, you don't fuck around. There's some people acting weird in the plaza ... let's kill them all!" "And that's how Kanye got a job with the Oakland police department." -- EonRPG and Ashra, on OCCUPY BENIN FALLS *"Hate crimes are a protected part of my cultural values." -- Ashra, on illithids. *"Did he pay the same rate for the room that I did?" "Yeah, five silver." "The Cuthbertites, on the other hand, had a Groupon." -- Rostan, EonRPG, and Ashra, on hotel rates. *"Make a Bluff check by failing an Int check! 'Drrrr idk hurrrr'." -- Someone?? makes a suggestion to Rostan. *"I know nothing about that guy." -- Rostan, about Reon, having just gotten Reon kicked out of his room. *"Go over there and talk to that illithid. She'll probably either give you a job or kill you. She's pretty cool." "Shit Adventurers Say." -- Cicero and EonRPG, on Ashra. *"Can you quicken DDoor?" "Well, I can run really fast." -- Leilah and Reon? Rostan? Galland? on capabilities *"The number one weapon of good gods is shame." "As in 'Good god, why would you do that?" -- EonRPG and Tamiko? Faust? on good god methods episode transcontinental express *"Fuck you, we have a cube!" -- Tamiko? on Ollie *"He's getting paid more as a prostitute than he would be as a member of the party." -- Galland, on Faust *"Do we get loots in hell?" "Yes, but you have to break them in half and set them on fire during your solo." -- Rostan and someone??, on Hell episode family dramalama *"What's a level hazard?" "You!" -- Rostan and the group??, on Rostan *Galland has bitches in his pants *"I'll teach you for 300 or a blowjob." "252 and a handjob?" "Done." *handshake* "Job's done." -- Faust is an efficient prostitute *"I'm at the perfect height for crotch spells!" "Vampiric Bad Touch?" -- Faust and Ashra, on Faust's capabilities *"You can't have sex in here unless you do it on the D&D table!" "Roll arousal checks!" "I'll assist!" -- Ashra and EonRPG taunting the people outside the door *"Sorry, I had no idea my dad would try to kill you guys when I invited you over." -- Kanye, on the surprise round *"So now isn't the time to tell you about the immense historical significance of this building?" -- Ashra, on the damage to the Deep Tower *"Less useful is the hollowed skull where, everywhere you take it, it's hollow." -- Faust, on the Hallowed Skull *"Are you rolling your d6s one at a time?" "They're d4s ... oh, yeah, they are d6s." "... He was rolling a d8..." -- EonRPG, Rostan, and Ashra, on Rostan's dice issues *"You fool! I'm a robot! I don't HAVE a butthole!" "Please, it's an exhaust pipe." -- Faust and Kanye, on Kanye's nether regions *"Does the demon shrink a bit?" "Only in places you can't see." -- Kanye? and Ashra mock the Nesferati *"Meaningless dongs!" "It's like Prying Eyes, but ... worse." -- Cicero and Ashra invent a spell *"18 more encounters like this and I've died for real!" -- Ashra, on Exiled Temporal Stasis *"I got as far as the end of your sentence and said no. I'm on another plane, so I heard it backwards." -- Ashra, on Kanye's suggestions *"1% of the party knows 99% of the psionics. Occupy my strange time demiplane, I'm so lonely..." -- Ashra is the only psion *"I broke the 200 damage mark on an attack of opportunity!" "... Okay. Who's next?" -- Kanye and EonRPG, in which DR is a thing *"Shut the fuck up and help me unstrip!" -- Leilah enlists Cicero to get her armor back on *"Should I glue him more?" "You can't glue him more, there's glue in the way!" -- Rostan and Ashra, on Meebo the Goblin episode ganth two electrum boogaloo *"Can I deface the images of Ganth?" "Can we lock her in the hold this entire time?" "I wasn't saying I'd do it, I was just asking..." "Same!" -- Tamiko and Ashra, on party discipline *"Better than the eyepatch." "What about the iPatch 2?" "I've got the Android version!" -- Galland, Ashra, and Kanye, on magic items *"Wait, I'm coming back to life? Excellent! Death is one more thing I can cross off the bucket list!" -- FFF, immediately before resurrection *"Welcome back to life! You now owe the party 25,000 blowjobs." -- Cicero, on the cost for Faust's T-Res *"The olden days! When the men were men, the women were women, and the children were level 20 commoners!" -- FFF, on Ganth's origins *"Fauxdin changed a lot of things about party security. He was kind of like our 9/11." -- Ashra will never forget *"If Cicero gets defending chest hair, why can't I?" "Because then you have to admit you have defending boobs." -- Leilah and Ashra on unusual item slots *"Sorry, Roxy, but you still all look the same to me." -- Ashra can't tell Reon apart episode party rock is definitely not in the house tonight *"It'd leave us shipless." "And I get scared shipless." -- Ashra and Cicero, on why they need to take the Thought along *"Garron Banth" -- EonRPG, several times, on the feared leader of Nonergil *"I'm going to buy his honey." "Does this make her a prostitute?" "It makes her a john." -- Leilah, Ashra, and EonRPG, on healing Galland *"Sup." -- Ashra, on how to properly address a cadre *"NO, NOT THE BEES" -- the soundtrack, as surreptitiously introduced by Galland *"I declare my dodge on Cicero!" -- someone?? out of combat, don't think they even have dodge *"No playing musical chairs with appearances!" -- EonRPG, on the disguise party *"I am on a knife edge trigger right now." -- Leilah really wants to kill Stalker *"Detect law!" -- Stalker, on the contract *"Justice is blind. Semna is also blind. ...There is no correlation." -- Kanye, on Semna *"It smells like Cat's Grace." "Okay, will you stop licking it?" -- Galland and Ashra, on the ziggurat *"May Pelor be with you!" -- Tamiko?? and it was to someone inappropriate *"Avoid the mise in a beam!" "Avoid the bees in a meme!" -- EonRPG and Ashra, on what if sanpoints were bees episode hat *"Pelor is black? Not on the Northern Continent!" -- Ashra, on fightin' for us and a blue-eyed Jesus *"Pelor's first lieutenant ... Adrian Brody?" -- Tamiko, on the frescos *"Guys! Let's stop making dick jokes in the holiest of holies!" -- Ashra?? on the party's maturity level *"No, I know exactly who that is, it's that one guy!" -- Rostan rolls a memory check on his own archenemy *"Make up your own pun! This is a roleplaying game!" -- EonRPG lays down the law *"He knows I can't translate all of it, he just wants me to try in good faith and stop translating it 'invisible man on Reddit'." -- Ashra, on Monarchia Daemonum *"Did you seriously just suggest selling heroin in Mecca?" -- Tamiko, on Ashra's plans *"Why did the guy have no teeth? Because he did Sarasin!" -- Tamiko, on old memes *"The light shoots out, illuminating --" "A map!" "Fuck you." -- EonRPG and Tamiko are on the same wavelength *"Anahita Benin ... hmm ..." "Captain Planet, he's our hero~" -- Leilah's prayers are interrupted by Rostan *"What about aboleths?" "It could be a beboleth?" "I'm worried about the zeboleth." -- ??, Kanye? and Ashra, on uberpsions episode spellturret *"He has certain ... lifestyle barriers ... to being a lord." "I'm pretty sure Semna just called you gay." -- Semna and Ashra, on party eligibility *"Do you have Glibness up?" "No." -- EonRPG demonstrates how the spell is meant to be used *"You're asking your mom to turn your poop gold." "More than that, she's listening." -- Ashra and Kanye, on the awkward implications of Leilah's magic *"What's the best element to fight these demons?" "Heart." -- FFF and Ashra, on Nesferati weaknesses *"Would there even be a point to me trying to shoot him with an arrow?" "Yes, the point on the arrow." -- Rostan, then Galland and Cicero together, on Rostan's tactics *"This magic circle is 100 times larger than normal." "Someone summoned your mom!" -- EonRPG and Ashra, on demons and immaturity episode fight scenes dbz style *"FEEL MY PINCERS ... LOOK AT MY PINCERS" -- EonRPG on the glabrezu's inability to hit Ashra in Lantern-light *"Why not Zoidberg? ...Oh, that's why." ---FFF? Mr. R? on the same *"Why haven't we tested the SR poison on Ashra?" ">:E" "Because of that face?" -- Leilah, Ashra, and EonRPG, on party dynamics *"His first spell is Horrid Wilting." "His next spell is Warrid Hilting?" -- EonRPG and FFF, on Haveo's tactics *"Sound Blast. It's like a Lightning Bolt, except ..." "Except it drops the bass?" -- EonRPG and Galland, on wubwubwub battles *"They've kicked you out of the cleric club.... just like you wanted." -- Ashra, on Nerdin's sub-optimal spell prep *"How many Stone Walls do you have?" "How many Fourth Walls do you have?" "*turns to window* I don't know, what do you guys think?" -- ??, Ashra, and EonRPG get meta *"Beloved of Furcas could give anything EonRPG wants, up to and including sparks shooting out of your dick." "Fun Fact: I invented that spell too!" -- Ashra and Faust, on DM NPC candy episode FINALLY *"Never write 'Dongs' in Dwarvish on a golem.'" -- ??? but it's obviously about Kanye *"I know it's suboptimal, but ... wait, why am I apologizing to you as though you were Leilah's player?" -- EonRPG, on the possibility of someone else playing Leilah for the session *"All Unhallowed Skulls look like For The Love of God." -- Ashra, on ludicrously expensive magic items *"Fuck it, I'll do it live." -- Galland, on Regroup without tactical advice *"You should roll Bardic Knowledge - Safe Search off!" -- Faust, on bad mental images *"Power to the People!" -- the new name for Divine Power when cast by a Cadre *"And stay down!" -- Nerdin wants Reon to get out of his shot *"It's a Hail Mary attack --" "Hail Barry?" -- about Nerdin, but IDK who the second speaker was *There was some good Leilah line that was a contender for LotN, but I didn't tweet it; Alan, d'you remember it? episode whargarbl *"This item is inherently linked to Celestalia." "I love My Little Pony!" -- EonRPG and ??? on one of the divine artifacts *"Wait, wait ... do the monks like my hat?" -- Galland gets an idea *"You feel a sense of foreboding." "Good foreboding?" "No, a sense of foreBaudin..." -- EonRPG, ??? and Reon? Kanye? ???, on bad feelings *"Knowledge: Bullshit" - ? *"I roll 17 on a fuck everything." - ? *"In the desert, you should --" "Bring sunscreen." -- Message to Galland and ??, on prudence *"I definitely want to see what happens when you're punched in the dick." "Hey, I just got that back!" -- ?? and Kanye, on reincarnation season fifteen episode well last season was a thing (These are all the candidates for LotN) *"She is yelling obscenities." "None of which appears to be a safeword." -- DM and NoName, on the bound and imprisoned Aether. *"Liar, could you do the knife for the baby ... that did not sound good." -- Ashra, on scrying for Hemera the Loved with Liar's magic dagger *"There are six people on the boat: gnomes, dwarves and one halfling." "Six people? Sounds like they're a bit ... short on staff!" -- DM and Faust, on the crew of the derpship *Heyy sexy crane fly (this was probably the DM and doesn't qualify but I wanted to record it) *"I was sort of not conscious for a while. There was a woman handling me." -- Das Rutshig, on how it got on the ship *"Make a tumblr check! Of your privilege!" -- Ashra, on tumble checks episode burning dragon *"How long has it been since Ashra relaxed? That's worth 120k." -- Kanye, on some scry-proof thing *"So we're basically flying over Burning Man." -- Ashra, on the desert festival *"They have a greeter." "If that's the criterion for a plot hook then why aren't we at Wal-Mart?" -- ??? and Ashra, on plot hooks. *"I guess you could call it... a bad trip." "They came down pretty hard." ??? and ???, on the dead derp gnomes. *"Oh, shit, blind guy, it knows where you are!" -- Kanye?? Faust?? on blindsense episode mirror mirror helpful helpful *"We like casters! They're ... squishy! That's not what we like about casters." -- Ashra talks crunch *"Casters! Xenteroth was a caster!" "But if he were on OUR side..." -- Leilah and Ashra are not the Hakuna Matata type really *"Is this a new rule? Rostan detects as conscious?" -- Kanye? on int scores *"You're a hairy wizard!" -- Faust delivers some news *"NewWizard, act less like an encounter if you don't want to be shanked." -- Ashra offers some free advice from HR *"I'm alive, thank you." "Why couldn't you have told me that as a free action?" -- NewWizard and Leilah, on appropriate weaponry *"Sense motive on the statue!" "No." -- ??? and Umberandphos, on statuary *"... and they haven't taken more than 20 damage, so they're probably okay ..." "You take 20 damage! Yes I heard that." -- Ashra and Umberandphos, wherein the DM hears all *"Damn, now I can't look at tits!" -- Faust's reaction to his magical eye episode drunk *"I can't physically digest alcohol" -- NoNa, kinda out of nowhere episode moar puzzles *"Beware that which leaks below ... lurks below ..." -- The Grey Render, on the illisquid puzzle *"Guys, it's an anemone!" "No, it's an enemy!" "That's what I said!" -- Nona and Galland on sea creatures *"I thought the dong was an integral part of the picture." "IT WAS MY UNDONG" -- Ashra?? and Faust?? on something on the whiteboard *"I think Blast of Bees is SR no." "Well, according to SRB..." -- Ashra and Leilah, on Galland's spell list *"I speak Extraplanar..." "That's like saying 'I speak Asian'." Einsof? and Ashra, on linguistics *"I'm gonna axe it a lawful questions." -- Kanye adds some pundual damage *"Now you have the head of a squid and an ice boat." "Ice boat." -- Umberandphos?? and Faust, on spell tactics episode lets go to the library hermione *"I axe the squid three questions. The first one is ... highly critical." -- Kanye this is going to be a running thing isn't it *"You're programmed to be chill with your people!" "Well, in an illithid way." "Chillithid!" "Get. Out." -- Kanye, Umberandphos, Ashra, Faust, on Ashra. *"I majored in Arcane Arts and Crafts." -- Faust *"Cast Amplify Toxin on a pot seed, its THC goes through the roof!" "Then cast Venom Fire to turn it into acid damage!" -- Kanye and Leilah have the party's sideline worked out *"I have determined the word is not supercalifragilisticexpialidocious ... unless they spelled it wrong." -- Faust, on the illithid hangman *"I was a construct once." "You don't look it." "He went to one of those camps -- Pray the Clay Away." -- Kanye, Matarik, and Ashra, on Kanye's transformation *"Spot check - do they all look alike?" -- Faust, on the illithids *"There are very few artifacts of Boccob." "Would you like to see one?" "Do not show the illthid librarians your penis." -- Illithid librarian, Faust, and Ashra, on Faust's special artifact. episode journey to the center of the mom *"Why am I looking at a dong?" -- Umberandphos, on the whiteboard *"Cicero went to fuck Vecna." "He got a hand job, there's a difference." -- Kanye and Umberandphos, on Cicero's religious leanings *"A bear paragon is the most badass of all bears." "Excuse me, I believe you mean ... a bearagon." -- Kanye and NoNa, on nomenclature *"Something illithid-y could fit in here." "Something humanoid?" "Something big-gnome-oid?" -- Umberandphos, ??, and Faust, on default body types. *"You don't have breast cancer." -- Ashra?? on NoNa's examination of her new body *"I want to get off Mother Brain's Wild Ride. I want to get off Mother Brain's Wild Ride. I want to get off Mother Brain's Wild Ride..." -- Ashra doesn't really want to get off Mother Brain's Wild Ride *"I have hands! I'll use them to ... stab things?" -- John the Ex-Sword doesn't know how hands work episode no ashra i am your mother *"She just joined the party, and we all know newbies don't know how to trigun." -- Ashra, on why NoNa doesn't get three guns yet *"Bee demon!" "Beemon!" -- ??? on Galland *"Galland, are you feeling quite all right?" "BEEEEEES" -- NoNa and Galland, on Galland *"Apprentice shots? So someone was fired?" -- Leilah, on Ollie's favorite spell *"It swelled up ..." "But don't you want it to go down...?" -- Faust and ??, on using Faust's swelling face to divine *"What's your name?" "Undersea, we don't need names!" "Then what do they call you ... in school?" -- Faust talks to a crab *"He really was a coke fiend." -- Kanye?? on Galland's fate episode tower defense *"We don't roll intimidate. We roll initiative." -- Leilah?? is a badass *"How'd he learn to read alone?" "He's hooked on phonics." "But no one else taught him, so he's huuked on p-haw-nics." -- ??, Ashra, and Faust, on Mortzeg's literacy *"The illithid trinity: The son, the mother, and the asshole in the tank." -- Kanye?? on SHUT UP XENTEROTH YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD *"Kanye Pilgrim and his seven deadly exes." -- ?? on the dragon who knows Kanye *"I died the way I lived: doing science to crabs." -- Faust or Mortzeg, on death *"There was an archery contest in Goneril. He thought it was okay to enter from Nyasa." -- Hemera, on Einsof's capabilities season sixteen episode no ashra I killed your mother *"You are trying to touch your mother ... who is naked ... rolling around with several other people ... and she's a fetus." -- The Shirtless One, on Icania's attempt to use touch spells on Isona * "Did I just eat a die and attempt to roll a cookie?" "All of my D20s have been in her mouth!" -- NoNa and Faust's players *"But DM, I need to get my rocks off!" -- one-shot Hulking Hurler *"Wait, wait, are you throwing ME at the demons?" "How much do you weigh?" "FUCK" -- Hulking Hurler and ??? *"I searched for you for years!" "Polo." -- Ashra and The Mother Brain of Mind's Touch *"I hear the weather somewhere plot-relevant is lovely this time of year!" -- The Mother Brain of Mind's Touch episode we all argue and don't even buy stuff *"Meeting with Ganth might be imprudent." "You certainly were." -- NoNa and Ashra, on world leaders *"Why would you want to shrink a Huge spider for the purpose of babysitting?" -- Aether, on Nyx *"Did you see a familiar come in here?" "Doesn't sound familiar..." -- Dread Pirate Lucy and Admiral Whitebeard, on Einsof's air spirit *"I'll give you 15 seconds before I start looking for you." "Actually I --" "I have sensed a flaw in your hiding technique." -- NoNa, Morzteg, and Ashra, on hide and seek and not talking episode tarrasque in mah face *"The P in PCP does not stand for Pocket Sand." -- ??? *"I roll a 71 to hide my penis." "It's already hidden!" "For you there's like a +10 bonus." -- Morzteg, The Shirtless One, and Faust, on censor bars *"I thought I was on a mission to purge evils from caves, but --" "It turns out it was all a metaphor!" -- Evalion and Faust, on past journeys *"It just seems to me that if you're small enough, you won't get crushed!" "What?! No!" -- Faust and Leilah, on tarrasque internal mechanics episode and then we finally stopped bickering for a bit *"Is your Cha higher than your Dex?" "Significantly." "Then you have trouble handling it." -- Leilah and Kanye, on Kanye's equipment